The power of not positive thinking?

I was just reading Kare Anderson’s thought-provoking post on daily affirmations, where she discusses some research that indicates that positive affirmations aren’t as powerful as we’ve been led to believe.

We’ve all heard the “positive self talk” pitch before – repeat the affirmations, become more like them.  (“…I’m good enough, and smart enough.  And doggone it, people like me.”)

Turns out, the conventional wisdom around affirmations may not be entirely accurate (read Kare’s post for more). 

I thought about that one for a while.  Why don’t these affirmations work that well?  What works better?  I’m no expert but I do have some thoughts on this.

• Maybe the affirmations can create too much dissonance inside us.  In other words, even though we say the right things, perhaps some part of us (and even deeper inner voice) remains skeptical.  Could be.
• Maybe some affirmations work better because the don’t define us, they merely inspire us.  For example, maybe we’re more apt to believe an “I can do this.” kind of affirmation before we believe an “I’m a good person.” affirmation.  There is a subtle difference – one encourages us to succeed, while the other places more of a subjective label on us.

Perhaps this is why setting bold goals works for so many of us:  we are more likely to be inspired and motivated to do something than we are to be something.

What do you think?  How well do affirmations work for you, and what works best in getting you through challenges and tough times?

Technorati Tags: self improvement,Kare Anderson,Dwayne Melancon,motivation,affirmations

Comments

[kare anderson]

DwayneI want to believe it when you write (and I have long thought it made intuitive sense): that affirmations "don’t define us, they merely inspire us " yet, if this research is proved right by further research, in some circumstances they make us feel worse.

You write that they might, "create too much dissonance inside us" yet they may make us more aware of the dissonance. From your whole post you seem (lucky you!) naturally upbeat ... and so many affirmations are probably a great reinforcement. Kudos to you for this thoughtful post.

[Dwayne Melancon]

Kare, you nailed it - I'm definitely a "glass half full" kind of person. However, I still don't go in much for affirmations. I'm more of a "suck it up and take responsibility for your own well being" kind of person.

It's ironic that the affirmations may make things worse, isn't it.

Not sure you've seen it, but the movie "Yes Man" comes to mind when I think about this. I enjoyed that one.

[TesTeq]

Dwayne, I was watching "Yes Man" yesterday. And I think this movie shows the difference between "dumb yes" and "honest yes". And the same applies to "dumb" and "honest" affirmations. But we should use "honest+" affirmations - they should describe ourselves a little better than we are. A LITTLE better to avoid cognitive dissonance.

[judyofthewoods]

Thank you for prompting me to think about this. Something that is actionable is more empowering. You can do even the most challenging thing one step at a time. "Being" is abstract, but will result from action. Thus, I believe that actionable affirmations or practical goal setting are more useful.

[John Richardson]

Wow Dwayne (and Kare), I think you are on to something big here. I think there is a big difference between self talk that aims to define us rather than words that truly inspire us. I just finished the book, The Talent Code, and in it they list research on the difference between praising kids for "being smart" and for "working hard."

In their fascinating research they found that kids who were praised for "being smart" actually declined in performance over time. They didn't work as hard as the kids who were praised for effort... after all they were smart and should already know how to do something. The ones praised for effort had just the opposite effect... they quickly found they got more praise if the worked harder and the results were astounding. Their grades substantially improved.

In the example you used above, the phrase "I'm good enough" would go completely against one of my core beliefs as a Christian. Hey... I'm a sinner saved by grace... I'm not naturally a "good person." This phrase would cause dissonance in my mind.Yet the scripture, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," would work well with a "I can do this," type of affirmation, as long as the "this" matched my core beliefs.

Your words... "Perhaps this is why setting bold goals works for so many of us: we are more likely to be inspired and motivated to do something than we are to be something," is really key.

I have a post on the Talent Code book here for further reference...http://successbeginstoday.org/wordpress/2009/05/how-not-to-praise-your-kids/